What My Queerness is Not

Trigger warning: some homophobic language

I'd like to take a moment to clarify, because sometimes there can be confusion.

My queerness is not homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual, pansexual, asexual, or just plain sexual. It is not dependent on who I am attracted to, who I am in a relationship with, or who I am married to.

My queerness is not based on genitalia, chromosomes, hormones, gametes, musculature, broad shoulders, long legs, body hair, deep voice, or sex assigned at birth.

My queerness is not my long hair. It is not my black-painted finger nails. It is not my eye shadow, the way I shave, or my desire to have my facial hair permanently removed. It is not dependent on whether I'm wearing a skirt or jeans. It does not come off with my clothes. It does not come off in the shower.



My queerness is not workplace appropriate. It is not the going the same direction the company is going. It is not conductive to efficiency. It is not going to go over well with HR. It is not interested in being part of the corporate family. It does not believe in the CEO's vision. It is not going to wear a tie.

My queerness is not quiet. It is not going to sit silently in the back of the room. It is not unobtrusive. It is not subtle. It is not going to just let that stand. It is not interested in making sure all voices have equal weight in the way I am described, identified, labeled, and commodified.

My queerness is not designed for your comfort. It is not staying on message. It is not showing how similar I am to my elected "representatives." It is not just like you. It is not going to church. It is not an eagle scout. It is not a white man in a suit appealing to all the things we have in common. It is not interested in meeting the standards you have before you're willing to empathize with another human being.

 My queerness is not afraid of the words heterophobic, politically correct, oversensitive, argumentative, problematic, unsatisfiable, sinner, subversive, weird, freak, faggot, cock-sucker, and especially not radical.

My queerness is not negatively affected by other people fighting for their rights. It is not afraid of being seen with sex workers. It does not feel compelled to assert it's cis-ness to gain validity. It is not interested in the framing of rights of queers and rights of people of color as a competition. It is not threatened by standing with union activists, anarchists, or communists to fight for a common cause. It is not worried about being looped in with "those people."

My queerness is not your queerness.

My queerness is not just an identity

My queerness is not just a political statement.

My queerness is not going away.

I hope that clears everything up.